Call Me Crazy....Or Actually, Don't.

“Wow, you’re OBSESSED. You’re, like, crazy.” If I had a dollar for every time someone has said that to me over my love of boybands, I’d be a millionaire. I could afford to do all the things I’ve always wanted to do, have the house of my dreams, and have my kid set for life. Instead, all I have is the constant urge to roll my eyes and repeat for the millionth time “How does my appreciation for a band equal to crazy?” Let me let you in on a little secret: it doesn’t. It’s always said with the same tone, too. One of disdain or pity, as if I’m some pathetic, sad person with nothing else to fulfill my life. Honestly, it’s frustrating, and infuriating.

Why is there some unspoken rule that by being a fan of a boyband, you’re automatically acting childish? Why does this equate to not being able to let go of my youth?  Why is it assumed that I and the people like me are crazy?  It’s silly! Look, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving boybands. Nothing. I’m not hurting anyone. I’m not living in some fantasy world where I think I can “get” one of them. Finding joy in a band from my youth isn’t living in the past. It’s finding happiness in a world that, lately, is pretty damn screwed up. Everywhere I look, I see hatred and ugliness. There’s racism, sexism, xenophobia and homophobia, and it honestly weighs me down. So what if I find my joy, my peace, my light, in a boyband?

“You’re smarter than that.” I’ve heard that one too, as if by liking NKOTB and BSB that it somehow effects my intellect. Excuse me while I roll my eyes. Everyone has their vice. Whether it’s TV shows or books, or music, everyone has that one thing that they’re very interested in. Liking something trivial or banal does not mean you aren’t smart. It doesn’t mean that I can’t go from talking about boybands with my friends to having a deep discussion on the state of affairs in our country, or the very real problems in the education system in NC. I can. I can go from reading a vapid romance novel to reading a memoir or nonfiction book about the mental health system in the United States. Just because I have varying interests, and I like pop music, it doesn’t mean that my brain can’t function on different levels. One does not cancel out the other.

“Well, I would have thought you would have grown out of it by now.” What, outgrow enjoying myself? Having fun? Finding something in this crazy, messed up world that makes me happy? Why do we attempt to put an age limit on things? Look, I get boybands aren't for everyone. That’s perfectly fine. I don’t try to push my adoration on others, and try to get them to love the same things I love. Everyone has what they love, and what they enjoy doing. I don’t belittle people for what they love doing. Just because I don’t understand it myself doesn’t mean I don’t totally understand the feeling that comes with doing something you love. I think of it like this: a great many people love sports. They go to games, buy the merchandise, tweet with the players on Twitter and connect with them on social media. They may even travel to see sporting events. How in the world is that ANY different from me enjoying a NKOTB concert, or going on a cruise? What makes wanting to connect with NKOTB and BSB so scandalous, yet it’s perfectly fine for someone else to do the same with their favorite sports stars? It’s the exact same thing, except the sports fan doesn’t catch constant flak for it.

“I bet you’re one of those that would camp outside of their houses.” Um, excuse me? In what world would I possibly think that’s okay? What about me being a boyband aficionado says that I’ll suddenly lose all reason, and turn into a stalker? That’s not how it works, at all. The sad thing is, even as I’m being called a stalker, or a clinger, or silly, there are people out there that actually ARE stalkers, or just plain scary. Those are the people that find out where the band members live. Those are the people that threaten their families, or send scary tweets to them, or have actual delusions about having a member of the band. Should someone like me, who enjoys the music and simple fan interactions, be lumped in with those people? Being a fan doesn’t equal stalker.

“I just can’t believe you spend all your money on something stupid like a boyband.” First, I hardly spend ALL my money on a boyband. I have a family. We have expenses that we always see to over any hobbies. I don’t hare off and spend massive amounts of money on anything, and never without discussing everything with my husband. Second, and this one is key,  I didn’t ask for your opinions on how to spend money, or what to spend it on. I don’t choose your hobbies, and you don’t get to dictate mine. Yes, concerts are expensive, and travel is expensive, but if I can manage it, why shouldn’t I get to indulge every now and then? My husband and I know what our finances can handle, and we have managed to strike a good balance with our respective hobbies. Going to concerts and traveling has provided me with so much happiness. I’ve seen places I never thought I’d see, and meet people from all different walks of life. These people have opened up new worlds for me, and each experience introduces me to more new people, expanding how I see the world. Just in the last few years, I’ve met all of NKOTB, hugged Nick Carter, and stood outside the buses for Hanson. I’ve gotten to have experiences I could only have dreamed of as a young girl and a teenager, and I wouldn’t trade those experiences for any amount of money.

My main point is this: just because you don’t understand something doesn’t negate the value it may have for someone. If you don’t understand why I love boybands, that’s fine, but stop judging me for it. All it’s going to do is irritate me. We are all drawn to different things in life, and one of my favorites just happens to be boybands. From the music to the incredible friends I’ve made, it’s something that never fails to brighten my day, and there’s absolutely no shame in that. Everyone needs something to get them through the bad days. Whatever it is for you, know that I won’t judge you for it. I won’t tell you it’s stupid, even if I don’t quite understand it myself. It’s rude and hateful to attempt to make people feel ashamed or guilty for the things they like. You don’t have to like it, but you should at least respect it.