Changes

Things are a-changing around my household, folks. Hubby and I made the leap, and decided to start looking for a home to call our own. It’s something we’ve been talking about for over a year, but now that it’s here, it’s more than a little scary. The decision to buy a home is huge, and it’s a terrifying commitment. I know it’s a smart decision, and the best one for our family, but that doesn’t make this journey any less daunting.

Want to know a secret? I don’t deal with change very well. Change can be scary. It rattles up your world, shakes things up, and nothing’s ever quite the same afterward. I have a habit of just keeping things as they are, even if I’m not completely satisfied. For me, the devil I know is easier to live with than the one I don’t. It’s a problem I’ve always struggled with. I wish I was more of a risk taker, but I’m simply not that person. It takes a lot to rattle me out of my safe little cage.

That being said, it’s not a quality about myself that I like. I know that my fear of change holds me back at times. I know that an unwillingness to make steps forward may save me from some awkwardness or failure, but it also keeps me from any successes I may have. It’s a pattern that I want to break, and one that I’m trying to work through. I recently read a book that said, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” The book, a self-help and motivational book called T is for Transformation by Shaun T, held many gems like that, and it spoke to me. I don’t want my daughter to learn my bad habits and shy away from change, or things that may be difficult. Of course, her personality is nothing like mine, and she doesn’t shy away from ANYTHING, so I really don’t worry too much about that, but I don’t want to be a bad example nonetheless. I want her to see me as someone that puts the wheels in motion. I want her to see me taking chances, and even doing things that frighten me. I want her to see that people can grow all throughout their lives. Most of all, I want her to know that progress can’t be made in life without change.

I like to think that I am taking baby steps in the right direction. I think that flying to Boston alone last year, something COMPLETELY out of my comfort zone, was one such step. Doing that showed me that I am capable of doing things that I thought I couldn’t do. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t absolutely scared out of my mind walking into that airport alone, going through security alone, and boarding that plane alone, but I did it. That step made me wonder what other changes I could make in my life. I started thinking about my writing, and how much I have always loved it, but how I was too scared to really put myself out there in any meaningful way. I started tinkering with the idea of writing a book, something that I am still working on, but something I would love to do. I am working up to it, I think, day by day, keystroke by keystroke. This blog, in fact, is one more change, one more step in that journey.

I understand that anxiety and fear play into my resistance to change. Yet, more and more, my comfort zone is becoming more confined, and I can’t allow that to happen. If life truly begins outside of my comfort zone, then I am not living. I’m existing, and that’s not good for anyone. Every decision is a chance. Every decision is a potential journey down roads unknown, but that doesn’t mean that it’s bad, or even truly frightening. I don’t want to let my worries over what “might” happen overshadow the progress that I could be making. After all, the first step in any journey, is realizing that it’s time, and then putting a foot forward. Even if you fall, even if you scrape a knee or an elbow, well, aren’t you already farther along than you were at first? Baby steps add up. One day, I hope that I will look back and see this moment in time as one that started me on a new path, one that was fruitful for not just me, but my family as well.

If you are interested in reading T is for Transformation, I highly recommend it. It is faintly based in fitness, however, I found it to be more of a motivational book for all aspects in life. I am including a link for it here, and hope that you’ll check it out, especially if you like Shaun T like I do!

As always, I hope you enjoyed this week's topic. Let me know in the comments what you would like to see in the future! Until next time!