Treat Yourself

We’ve all seen the memes, the gifs, the pictures, telling us to “treat yo self.” And while it has become something of a fad here lately, I believe that taking care of yourself is imperative to a good life. It’s as the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” The problem is, most of us, especially the moms among us, do. We go and we go and we go, giving so much of ourselves that we begin to lose the very essence of who we are. Now, this isn’t to say that JUST moms, or JUST women go through this, because it’s simply not true. We ALL have times where we’ve given too much of ourselves, and it leaves us empty, cranky and wondering who the hell we are, and what we are doing with our lives. The truth is, we are living in a culture that tells us every day that we have to be perfect. We have to strive for the big house, the fancy car, to be the perfect parents, to have a big bank account, and to be all of these things. We’re bombarded with it every single day, and it wears us down.

Look, I get it. life gets busy. We have responsibilities that we have to tend to, whether we want to or not. Dinner has to be cooked, the kids have to be fed and bathed, and homework has to be done. Work doesn’t always get left at the office, and personal relationships need attention as well. Problems begin when we let these everyday stresses build up, until life has become nothing but a carbon copy of the day before, on an endless treadmill of routine. It’s colorless, lifeless, and soul sucking. It’s sad, isn’t it, in our quest for “perfect” that we let life speed by, never even taking the time to fully enjoy it? That’s why self-care is so imperative. We allow ourselves to become so overwhelmed that it makes us unhappy, and desensitized to it. Think about. You work. You do your job. You take care of the kids (or pets or parents or all of the above) and at the end of the night when you’re lying in bed, you’re already thinking of all the things you have to do tomorrow. All of these things weigh on your mind, your soul, your heart. After a while, all of that builds up, and causes more stress, sadness, and maybe even depression. You can only go so long caring for others without taking the time to care for yourself as well.

It seems like kismet, then, that yesterday as I was beginning this post, a particular song came on my Spotify list. It’s called Save Me, by Ed Sheeran, and for the first time I really stopped and listened to the lyrics.  It’s a song about giving all you have to those around you until you’re absolutely empty, and finally realizing that at some point you have to stop and learn how to save yourself. The chorus goes as follows:

Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out-of-date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf
No farewell
So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself

Now, I’m not sure how licensing and all that goes, so before I go any further, know that I don’t own any of the rights to that song, or Mr. Sheeran, and I haven’t been paid to promote his songs. I’m just a fan, and happened to connect with this song. Isn’t amazing how sometimes the universe sends you something right when you need to hear it? I know how it feels to get bogged down in the needs of others, and just the toll of every day life. It’s an empty, lonely feeling, and it leaves you thinking that who you used to be is gone. That isn’t true. It’s a sign that it’s time for you to start listening to yourself and taking the time to say “I have to see me. I have to give myself some of the same attention I give to everyone else.”

No one wants to feel as though their needs and wants aren’t as important as those around you, but it happens. It is up to each of us to have the inner strength to say “I need a moment.” That moment can be anything. It can be painting your nails, or taking a hot bubble bath with a good book and a glass of wine. It can be fishing on a quiet lake. It can even be something more extravagant, like a girl’s (or guy’s) weekend. It’s about listening to your soul, and knowing what is going to charge your batteries. Only you can know when you need that break, so don’t be afraid to take it. You ARE worth it. It’s perfectly fine to put yourself first at times. Life is so short, and things can happen in the blink of an eye. Take the moments you need to fuel your heart and happiness. You’re not a bad parent if you tell your spouse he or she has the kids for the evening, and go out with friends. You’re not a bad son or daughter if you take a break from caring from a parent to go to the movies, or get a meal at your favorite restaurant. You’re not a bad spouse if you tell your significant other that you just need some “you’ time. If anything, taking care of yourself is going to make you a better parent/child/spouse.

Doing things that make you truly happy, refilling that cup of yours is going to give you strength. It’s going to bolster you on those days when you feel like crying or rocking in the corner. Most of all, it will give you the power to say “I am important, and I do deserve to be happy.” Own your happiness. Own your moments. They are yours alone, and no one can take them from you.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s topic. Let me know in the comments what your go to is to fill your cup, or to self-care. I’d also love to hear what you’d like to see here, or what topics interest you. Like I’ve said before, we’re all in this together. Until next time, friends!